“It has rarely been an honored in practice; soon, it will vanish even as an ideal.”
It’s been a long drawn out and miserable day at work on a Tuesday night. You’re tired and stressed and have three more days of more tedious bullshit to look forward to at work. Before making your way home you stop off for a nice relaxing beer at your local bar and prepare to unwind all the mental crap you’ve endured during the day. As you take your first sip and let in that refreshing chill into your body, you look up and see the perfect specimen of a human being. Everything you’ve ever envisioned yourself to be with. You make eye contact… just for a second, but it’s all that’s needed for you to be immobilized with that sort-of excitement and fear. Fantasies instantly start to run wild. Finally you’ve found someone you could truly lose yourself in. All of a sudden without explanation the two of you find yourselves engaged in conversation. “Wow how did this happen” you ask yourself in your head. The two of you engage in light but apparent flirtatious banter. And then you hear those words that you’ve been secretly hoping to hear since you first made eye contact. “Can I get your number? I’d love to hang out with you sometime.” Your heart is racing, your insides are melting, and your hormones are flowing. You want to scream “just take me now.” But reality kicks in and your only response is “I can’t, I’m in a relationship.”
Yes I know that fantasy is a little cliché (or maybe a lot cliché), but I only used it to prove a point. How many of you would have responded that way if in fact you were in a relationship? For some of us, maybe even most, it sucks to have to give up something you feel is right for you, especially when it comes to someone you’re sexually attracted to. There are some who can’t do it, or those who just choose not to. It’s a well known fact that infidelity exists and not just limited to being a man or woman thing. Researchers have estimated that 44% of marriages have been subjected to infidelity, and an average of 71% of people would have an affair if they knew for sure they would not get caught. And if those stats don’t catch your attention, how about this one? AshleyMadison.com is a site designed to provide discretion for men and women in committed relationships to have affairs. It has close to 11 million members. I in no way advocate cheating but only acknowledge that it is more frequent then you might want to believe.
But this isn’t really about people who are unfaithful; it’s about questioning the lifestyle of monogamy. So why talk about cheaters? These people already make a mockery of the lifestyle and have been doing so for a very long time. Due to the frequency in infidelity throughout the country, French author Jacques Attali made this statement years ago, “monogamy has rarely been honored in practice; soon, it will vanish even as an ideal.” Like I said earlier, there are people out there who just can’t or won’t say no to sexual temptation but here’s my question, why should we really have to? We as Americans are selfish by design. When we meet that person for which we’ve decided to spend the rest our life with, they are subconsciously given the task of satisfying all of our needs, including but not limited to emotional and financial stability and sexual satisfaction, because deep down that is what we want and expect of our partner. During the course of a long term relationship we tend to be over demanding of our partner which may cause them to stray because of unneeded pressure, or may even cause you to stray when you aren’t getting everything you want. The truth is it is very difficult to satisfy ALL the needs of another person ALL the time. There are those who would go as far as to say that it’s unrealistic. For some I would agree but more realistically I will say that I think it’s more of an unnecessary burden we give ourselves and our partners.
People tend to think that because I’m against living a monogamous lifestyle, then I must be a male whore. That isn’t true in the least bit although I honestly see nothing wrong with that, just as long as you stay clean and don’t sleep around behind someone else’s back. I may not want to depend entirely on one person for all my needs but that doesn’t necessarily mean I want to fuck everything with a vagina. I not only have standards like anybody else and hold on very tightly to them, but I also have no desire to want to deal with a crap ton of women at one time. The ideal of monogamy relates a lot to what I discussed in my marriage piece. Everyone wants to find that perfect someone to call husband or wife to live out their days basking in their love, but allow me to ask this. Why do we assume that we only have a certain kind of love for one person? Even more so, being in a relationship does not and will not stop you or your partner from being attracted to other people. So in a world with a population of over 6.5 billion people I will never understand the desire people have to limit themselves to just enjoying the benefits of one person. "938"
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Me vs. The Internet
"I’d like to welcome you to the new age, an age where the world is at the beckon call of your fingertips."
Welcome to the internet age. I realize that yes I’m only a few years late writing about this but I was feeling nostalgic one day about how excited I used to get as a kid to go to the music store whenever an album from a band I liked came out, and how because of the internet I’ll probably never get to re-live that sort of excitement (also due in part to the fact that new music is just god-awful… Lady Gaga or Katy fucking Perry anyone?). It then got me thinking about how other aspects of my life and everybody else’s has changed because of it and well, that’s my excuse for writing about it now. This isn’t going to be so much of an ‘one side or another’ piece like my monogamy and marriage blogs, but just more of anobservation of this new internet age we live in.
I remember having a conversation with some friends a while back saying that because of the internet, unless you just want some fresh air there is absolutely no reason to ever leave your house other than to go to work. If you think about it, there are sites out there that can supply you with anything you need or want just as long as you have a credit or debit card. Places like bestbuy.com or circuitcity.com (I couldn’t believe they still exist either) can be your stop for televisions, computers, and other electronic devices including cameras and portable music players. Amazon.com sells everything from books to jewelry to automotive parts, although for the life of me I can’t figure out why anyone would want to buy car parts online, as well as the aforementioned electronic devices. Not only do all three sites as well as numerous others sell recreational items like movies, music CD’s, video/computer games and accessories, but with sites like Netflix iTunes and Steam, you can stream movies movies and games straight to your computer or purchase albums and video games and download them right to your computers’ hard drive. Do you need new clothes? Visit gap.com, forever21.com or Abercrombie.com, three places you couldn’t pay me money to shop at, or even hottopic.com for more novelty clothing. You can perform numerous banking tasks and even pay utility bills at your banks’ website. You can even buy groceries or even prescription medication… all over the internet. And now with smartphones and tablet computing growing more and more popular with time, all these options and more are readily available to you wherever you go. By the way if by some miracle of chance you can’t find a site that sells what you’re looking for, there’s always ebay.com.
It’s not only shopping that has been affected by the introduction of the internet. I remember the good ol’ days when if you liked someone, you would ask for their phone number. Then you would actually talk to one another over the phone using your voices to become better acquainted, and then after some time passed you would actually go out and get to know each other even more. But since I’m apparently an old fart (at 30 btw), that seems to all be ancient history now. Currently there are close to 100 million members on the five most popular dating sites in America alone but there are literally hundreds of these sites on the internet. As of 2010 the online dating industry was worth $4 billion worldwide and is continues to grow . But looking for romance isn’t the only thing directly affected by the net, even the way we communicate with one another has now been ‘upgraded.’ We now live during a time where facebook is dominating the social networking medium with now over 750 million users and on average people spend over 700 billion minutes per month on the site. This along with texting, which is basically the same concept as email but for phones, is essentially all that is required for staying in touch with people. I just read a story (a true story mind you) about a woman that lived out all the stages of a relationship she had with a guy via text messaging including flirtatious banter to confusion to bitterness at the sight of his name. I’ve recently met so two girls that both want to communicate with me through texting only and I’m sure they won’t be the last. I recently joined facebook a few months ago and I find it interesting how easily accessible I am to all my friends at any given time and vice-versa. Think about it, through your phone you have the opportunity to communicate with everyone on your friends list whenever you want through messaging in facebook. When I want to say something to a friend, I sometimes can’t decide whether to text them or send it through facebook, since they’ll get it and respond through their phone anyway. Yet I rarely ever callanyone anymore.
There’s no question that the introduction and popularity of the internet has made the tasks of our lives much easier, but what kind of price are we paying for this convenience? Did you know that the actions you make on the internet are being monitored and recorded? Let me introduce you to what’s known as data mining. Data mining is the act of having your personal data researched and stored for literally anyoneto purchase. People looking to purchase your data can include anyone from companies trying to decide who to advertise their product to, to employers looking to spy on the people they have working for them. The information gathered from individuals includes but is not limited to credit card purchases, income levels, pictures of your home or even the status updates you put on facebook. There are dozens of sites out there like spokeo.com, which has profiles of EVERYONE that uses the internet, detailing all the information I’ve listed above. And while you may want to think having your private information being sold off to random companies is unbelievable or wrong, the scary fact is it’s all completely legal. Data mining is a multi-billion dollar industry. So how exactly is our information being obtained? Everything from the apps we use on our phones to the websites we visit is used to gather data on us.
So let me say it again folks, welcome to the internet age. There is no denying that the internet has completely changed the way we as a society live our lives, and seeing as how I was one of the first people on America Online way back in 1995 I’ll always find it a little intriguing how the internet has blown up in popularity throughout the years. At the end of 2000 there were an estimated 360 million people on the internet. As of April 2011 that number has grown to over 2 billion, which is roughly 30% of the worlds’ population. Of course like everything else it has its downside. Because of how fast information is shared, it’s often stated that once something makes its way onto the net it’s there to stay permanently for anyone to witness, which is often the case with embarrassing pictures and videos. But one thing I must say that I can really appreciate about the net is that anybody with a few working brain cells and a couple of fingers now has the opportunity to be heard and seen...myself included. Bands and musicians no longer have to grind their way to popularity when they now can make their music and post it on popular sites like youtube. More video is uploaded to this site in one month than the three major US networks created in 60 years, resulting in nearly 8 years of content uploaded every day. Even writers now have the luxury of joining blog sites and posting their works for all to read, as there are currently millions and millions of members throughout different blog sites on the net. The bottom line is this; the internet is here to stay and will only evolve and grow more popular in the future. The question is whatexactly will it evolve to, what how much more will it change the world? "1394"
Welcome to the internet age. I realize that yes I’m only a few years late writing about this but I was feeling nostalgic one day about how excited I used to get as a kid to go to the music store whenever an album from a band I liked came out, and how because of the internet I’ll probably never get to re-live that sort of excitement (also due in part to the fact that new music is just god-awful… Lady Gaga or Katy fucking Perry anyone?). It then got me thinking about how other aspects of my life and everybody else’s has changed because of it and well, that’s my excuse for writing about it now. This isn’t going to be so much of an ‘one side or another’ piece like my monogamy and marriage blogs, but just more of anobservation of this new internet age we live in.
I remember having a conversation with some friends a while back saying that because of the internet, unless you just want some fresh air there is absolutely no reason to ever leave your house other than to go to work. If you think about it, there are sites out there that can supply you with anything you need or want just as long as you have a credit or debit card. Places like bestbuy.com or circuitcity.com (I couldn’t believe they still exist either) can be your stop for televisions, computers, and other electronic devices including cameras and portable music players. Amazon.com sells everything from books to jewelry to automotive parts, although for the life of me I can’t figure out why anyone would want to buy car parts online, as well as the aforementioned electronic devices. Not only do all three sites as well as numerous others sell recreational items like movies, music CD’s, video/computer games and accessories, but with sites like Netflix iTunes and Steam, you can stream movies movies and games straight to your computer or purchase albums and video games and download them right to your computers’ hard drive. Do you need new clothes? Visit gap.com, forever21.com or Abercrombie.com, three places you couldn’t pay me money to shop at, or even hottopic.com for more novelty clothing. You can perform numerous banking tasks and even pay utility bills at your banks’ website. You can even buy groceries or even prescription medication… all over the internet. And now with smartphones and tablet computing growing more and more popular with time, all these options and more are readily available to you wherever you go. By the way if by some miracle of chance you can’t find a site that sells what you’re looking for, there’s always ebay.com.
It’s not only shopping that has been affected by the introduction of the internet. I remember the good ol’ days when if you liked someone, you would ask for their phone number. Then you would actually talk to one another over the phone using your voices to become better acquainted, and then after some time passed you would actually go out and get to know each other even more. But since I’m apparently an old fart (at 30 btw), that seems to all be ancient history now. Currently there are close to 100 million members on the five most popular dating sites in America alone but there are literally hundreds of these sites on the internet. As of 2010 the online dating industry was worth $4 billion worldwide and is continues to grow . But looking for romance isn’t the only thing directly affected by the net, even the way we communicate with one another has now been ‘upgraded.’ We now live during a time where facebook is dominating the social networking medium with now over 750 million users and on average people spend over 700 billion minutes per month on the site. This along with texting, which is basically the same concept as email but for phones, is essentially all that is required for staying in touch with people. I just read a story (a true story mind you) about a woman that lived out all the stages of a relationship she had with a guy via text messaging including flirtatious banter to confusion to bitterness at the sight of his name. I’ve recently met so two girls that both want to communicate with me through texting only and I’m sure they won’t be the last. I recently joined facebook a few months ago and I find it interesting how easily accessible I am to all my friends at any given time and vice-versa. Think about it, through your phone you have the opportunity to communicate with everyone on your friends list whenever you want through messaging in facebook. When I want to say something to a friend, I sometimes can’t decide whether to text them or send it through facebook, since they’ll get it and respond through their phone anyway. Yet I rarely ever callanyone anymore.
There’s no question that the introduction and popularity of the internet has made the tasks of our lives much easier, but what kind of price are we paying for this convenience? Did you know that the actions you make on the internet are being monitored and recorded? Let me introduce you to what’s known as data mining. Data mining is the act of having your personal data researched and stored for literally anyoneto purchase. People looking to purchase your data can include anyone from companies trying to decide who to advertise their product to, to employers looking to spy on the people they have working for them. The information gathered from individuals includes but is not limited to credit card purchases, income levels, pictures of your home or even the status updates you put on facebook. There are dozens of sites out there like spokeo.com, which has profiles of EVERYONE that uses the internet, detailing all the information I’ve listed above. And while you may want to think having your private information being sold off to random companies is unbelievable or wrong, the scary fact is it’s all completely legal. Data mining is a multi-billion dollar industry. So how exactly is our information being obtained? Everything from the apps we use on our phones to the websites we visit is used to gather data on us.
So let me say it again folks, welcome to the internet age. There is no denying that the internet has completely changed the way we as a society live our lives, and seeing as how I was one of the first people on America Online way back in 1995 I’ll always find it a little intriguing how the internet has blown up in popularity throughout the years. At the end of 2000 there were an estimated 360 million people on the internet. As of April 2011 that number has grown to over 2 billion, which is roughly 30% of the worlds’ population. Of course like everything else it has its downside. Because of how fast information is shared, it’s often stated that once something makes its way onto the net it’s there to stay permanently for anyone to witness, which is often the case with embarrassing pictures and videos. But one thing I must say that I can really appreciate about the net is that anybody with a few working brain cells and a couple of fingers now has the opportunity to be heard and seen...myself included. Bands and musicians no longer have to grind their way to popularity when they now can make their music and post it on popular sites like youtube. More video is uploaded to this site in one month than the three major US networks created in 60 years, resulting in nearly 8 years of content uploaded every day. Even writers now have the luxury of joining blog sites and posting their works for all to read, as there are currently millions and millions of members throughout different blog sites on the net. The bottom line is this; the internet is here to stay and will only evolve and grow more popular in the future. The question is whatexactly will it evolve to, what how much more will it change the world? "1394"
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